I never had a secret language with a best friend, but if I did, I image it might look something like this: wbc rbc hgb hct mvc mchc neut lymph mono eos baso. And then, with a handy dandy secret decoder ring, we could interpret the message:

A cancer patient walks into a bar, sits down next to another cancer patient, and says: “Hey baby, are you a white blood cell? Because I can’t get enough of you!” 

Those of us diagnosed with breast cancer belong to the “Breast Cancer Jargon Speaking Society of Jargon Speakers“. We say things like HER +? No, – , you? Got lucky! PR/ER +.  And like “How’s your WBC looking?” WBC you say? White & Blue Coat? Wine By Cats? What aBout Carl? 

 A quick look in the potty can tell you a lot about your health from the inside out. (Potty talk welcome here!) Your White Blood Cell (WBC) count, like poop, also offers insight into your insides. But, unlike poop, you’re going to need more than a quick lookie-loo. And more than a decoding ring. 

WHITE BLOOD CELLS (WBC) defend your body against “invaders.” But only if it was that easy. There are several different types of white blood cells: you have your cytes and phils.  The suffix phil is the tendency towards something (like a cell). Clear as mud yet? Let me paint a clearer picture:

Basophil, Neutrophil, Eosinophil White Blood Cells surround and kill inflammation and infection. 

… and the suffix cyto relates to all things cell. Lymphocytes and Monocytes carry signals between cells to kick your immune system into gear. 

So now that we’ve covered white blood cells, what about the other ‘stuff’? The Electrolytes, Liver Function, Immunoassay, and Thyroid Panel? Well friends- that’s for another post!